Archive for the ‘Internet Cleaning’ Category

World Wide Cleaning of Internet

April 1, 2008

TO: All Internet Users

From: Dr. Harold Davidson
Manager, Interconnected Network Maintenance Staff
Information Technology
Central Texas University
Killeen Texas

Subject: Internet Cleaning

PLEASE PASS THIS MESSAGE ON TO OTHER USERS!

As many of you know, each year since 2000 the internet must be shut down for a period of 24 hours in order to allow it to be cleaned. This is a direct result of some much internet traffic. The cleaning process, which eliminates dead e-mails and inactive ftp, www and gopher sites, allows for a better working and faster internet for everyone world wide.

This year, the responsibility for this cleaning process falls on Central Texas University. The cleaning will take place from 12:01 AM CST on April 1 until 12:01 PM CST on April 1, 2008. During that time 12 hour period, five very powerful Japanese built multi-lingual internet-crawling robots (Toshiba ML-2274H21) situated around the world will search the internet and delete any data that they find. There will be a sixth computer located at the Johnson Space Center in Houston Texas that will also be involved.

In order to protect all your valuable data and programs from deletion we ask that you do the following:
1. Disconnect all terminals and local area networks from their local internet connections.
2. Shut down all internet servers or disconnect them from the internet.
3. Disconnect all disks and hard drives from any connections to the internet.
4. Refrain from connecting any computer to the internet in any way.
5. Avoid placing operating microwave ovens or toaster ovens near any computer modems.
6. Avoid wearing any nylon (or other dielectric fibre) undergarments because of the
possibility of electric discharge and resulting injury.
7. Turn off all radios within 7 feet of your computer.

We understand the inconvenience that this brief interruption of service may cause some internet uses and we apologize for this. However, we are certain that any inconvenience will be more than made up for by the increased speed and efficiency of the internet once it has been cleared of electronic flotsam and jetsam.

We thank you for your cooperation

Dr. Harold Davidson
Manager, Interconnected Network Maintenance Staff
Information Technology
Central Texas University
Killeen, TX

Sysops and others: Since the last internet cleaning, the number of internet users has grown dramatically. There are now over 18.9 billion users connected to the internet at any one time. Please assist us in alerting the public of the upcoming internet cleaning by posting this message where all users will be able to read it. Please pass this message on to other sysops and internet users as well. Thank you.